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- 41 for 41
This week I turn 41.
And like every birthday, it’s got me thinking - not so much on what I’ve accomplished, but on what I’ve learned.
Over the years, I’ve come to realize that life doesn’t hand you wisdom in big, dramatic moments. It sneaks up on you through small experiences - sometimes through struggle, sometimes through repetition, and often through failure.
So, I made a list. I decided to write down 41 harsh truths and honest lessons - one for every year I’ve been around. Some I learned the hard way. Others were taught to me by people wiser than I am. A few I’m still trying to fully live up to.
These aren’t rules or advice - just reminders. Notes to self, from a life still very much in progress. A collection of things that have proven true, at least for me, over time.
Maybe a few will resonate with you too.
41 Harsh Truths and Honest Lessons:
Mindset & Personal Philosophy
Life’s not fair. Deal with it.
If you believe you can or believe you can’t, you’ll end up proving yourself right.
You’ll never feel ready, so just start anyway and adjust along the way.
Eighty percent of success may be showing up, but ninety-nine percent is to keep showing up.
Anything worthwhile takes effort.
There are no straight lines in nature, or to success.
Don’t wait for things to happen - make it happen.
When things don’t go as planned, make it work.
People will always criticize - do what you’ve got to do anyway.
Solve your problems and then help others struggling with those same problems.
Integrity & Character
Always keep your word like your life depends on it - because it does.
Doing the right thing is always the right thing.
Don’t be petty. Be the bigger person.
Never go against your gut.
Wait before responding.
Sleeping on it is helpful for making good decisions.
It’s better to over communicate than under communicate.
Make the peace before going to bed.
Discipline, Habits & Daily Practices
Make your bed every morning.
Leave your space cleaner than you found it.
Six days of creating, one day of rest. Unplug and disconnect.
Break a sweat every day - go for a run or a long walk.
Be able to lift heavy objects - and make it look easy.
Write things down - your thoughts, ideas, and anything important.
Money, Work & Success
Start your own business. You’ll learn more from that than from anything else.
You’ll never earn true wealth from a salary alone.
Spend less than you earn - invest the difference.
You’ll never time the market. Invest in index funds.
People will always need a place to live. Invest in real estate.
Don’t be cheap - pay for quality.
Develop good taste and sound judgment - and use it.
Relationships & Connection
Learn people’s names and use them.
How you dress speaks a lot about you.
Ladies first.
Laughter is underrated. Laugh out loud.
Remember your friends’ birthdays and anniversaries - good reason to reach out.
Marry well - someone who will help you become the best version of yourself.
Have kids, they are life’s greatest joy.
Faith, Gratitude & Legacy
Give charity.
Music is good for your soul. Get around it as much as possible.
Leave the world a little better than you found it.
Key Takeaways
If I had to sum it all up, I’d say this: most of what works in life isn’t complicated. It’s just not easy.
Looking back on this list, a few themes stand out:
Character counts. How you act when no one’s watching ends up defining who you really are.
Discipline beats motivation. Most things worth doing require showing up long after the excitement fades.
Connection matters. Relationships, kindness, and gratitude outlast every achievement.
Growth is messy. Success isn’t linear - it’s a series of course corrections, failures, and restarts.
And finally: your health, your word, and your peace of mind are the foundation of everything else. Protect them fiercely.
This list isn’t a finish line - it’s a reminder that growth is a lifelong process.
These lessons weren’t learned in a classroom - they were learned through trial, error, and a lot of repetition. The details change, but the themes don’t: character, effort, and integrity always win in the long run.
Final Note
Every lesson on this list came from a struggle or getting something wrong first.
As I step into 41, I don’t feel like I’ve “arrived.” I feel like I’m just beginning to understand how much there is still to learn - about leadership, creativity, marriage, fatherhood, and life itself.
We’re all works in progress. The point isn’t to have it all figured out - it’s to keep showing up, doing the work, and trying to leave things better than we found them.
Here’s to the next chapter - and to learning a few more truths along the way.
Thanks for reading.
Until next time,
Elliot